Yellow Octopus Exclusives RIDSTER – Hipster Repellent Spray! Mainstream Protection Everything

RIDSTER HIPSTER REPELLENT SPRAY

Similar to mosquitos, hipsters have a tendency to suck. But unlike mosquitos, hipsters require more than a half-hearted swat to go the hell away. So we’ve created a product to help. 

Repel those pesky left-leaning political pedants by filling the air with the powerfully potent pong of everything hipsters hate with a single spray of RIDSTER – the world-first Hipster Repellent Spray!

RIDSTER is a patented concoction of concentrated ingredients packing a punch so disgustingly unattractive it’s guaranteed to keep hipsters at least 10 metres away with a single spray.

The main ingredients – microwaved instant coffee and non-organic avocado – are paralysing to hipsters if inhaled, so it’s highly recommended you spray RIDSTER directly into hipster faces for maximum affect.

RIDSTER also contains traces of loose jeans essence and mainstream pop culture powder to add an extra ‘ugh’ factor for hipsters.

Packaged in a pump bottle, RIDSTER is conveniently portable, perfect for on-the-go hipster repelling.

Stride confidently into record stores, coffee shops, art galleries and onto public transit knowing you’re adequately armed in the event you encounter a bearded band of vintage-clad wankers.   

FEATURES

• Non-lethal!
• One spray keeps hipsters 10 metres away
• Paralysing if used directly in the face
• Convenient pump bottle packaging
• Great gift for non-hipster residents of gentrifying suburbs 

SPECIFICATIONS

• Dimensions: 20 x 7 cms 
• Ingredients:  Water, microwaved instant coffee, non-organic avocado, loose jeans essence, mainstream pop culture powder
• Directions for use: Apply liberally to your body, spray into the air around you, or spray directly into hipster’s face.